Allow me to preface this post with the fact that asking me if my hair is “all mine” and then starting a conversation is the bestway to “weave check” me. We’ve opened up the lines of communi-cation, you’ve boosted my ego and I’ve (hopefully) dropped some knowledge on you that you can use moving forward.
It’s completelyunderstandable that truly amazing hair sometimes seems, well, unbeweavable (yes, I said that). Hell, I can admit that I’ve glanced at a woman’s hair one too many times searching for tracks or lace. It’s not something I’m proud of but I’m sure I’m not the only one.
My issue is with women who weave check and then feel the need to “investigate”. At first, I found it flattering that someone would find my hair long or thick or shiny enough to be confused for a weave. I happily answered the “Is that a weave?” question honestly and thought we’d be able to move on. My blood began to simmer at the response, “No! It can’t be!” and then felt a hand unceremoniously stuck in my hair as if in search of the truth. What…what just happened here?
Why did you ask me if you were hell-bent on feeling for tracks, anyway? Common courtesy went out the window when you were feeling around my scalp! Secondly, you asking me a question and then calling me a liar means you question my integrity. If you’re bold enough to ask me if the hair on my head is mine, why wouldn’t I respond honestly? If I’m rocking a wig, I’m thefirst person to tell you it ain’t mine because I have no shame in my game.
My biggest issue with weave checking, though, is the implication that black women having long hair is so far-fetched that our only resort is to add extensions. Good genes or a receipt are the only methods many of us believe are at our disposal to achieve long hair. How crazy is that?! We’ve bought into the hype that black hair “just doesn’t grow” so when someone accomplishes that task, we’re unable to process it. They’re an outlier, not the norm.
Just like I mentioned in my article addressing my love for black hair, yes, it may be more challenging for us to grow our hair but it’s not impossible! There is a wealth of information at our fingertips in the form of textbooks, hair boards, blogs, and YouTube channels yet many of us are ignorant to the idea of healthy hair maintenance. This is one of the reasons why I talk hair care with women I meet. It’s not just for my enjoyment but also to encourage and enlighten. If it were up to me, every black woman on the face of this earth would be on a healthy hair journey.
I also want to address those on the receiving ends of weave checks. I know these situations can lie somewhere between hilarious and humiliating but take heart; it means you’re doing something (or a series of somethings) very right! Depending on who the weave checker is, you may have an opportunity to put a bug in this person’s ear about taking care of their hair. Being secretive about your regimen won’t hinder your progress so share the wealth! Someone put you on so, if the opportunity arises, you should try to do the same.
Have you ever been weave checked? Did you handle it graciously or fly off the handle? Be honest, this is a safe space! Why do you think women weave check you in the first place?
Original post found here.